If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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