$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
