They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
oh god was she eating orange peels again
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
It's rum buckets o'clock
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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