omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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