I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
