There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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