you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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