my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
