idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Randomize
