I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
