Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
honey bunches of taint.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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