yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
