In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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