We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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