How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
