Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
