i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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