I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
