I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
