im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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