Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
