I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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