I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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