he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
