If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
