it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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