We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
