last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
