Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
if i can run in heels then i can drive
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
