She said her name was "party"
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize