ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Randomize
