you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
