I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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