you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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