carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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