You're so nebulous sometimes
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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