we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
it hurts more in the daytime
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Randomize
