3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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