So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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