Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
