I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
