Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
