Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
