my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
