so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Randomize
