worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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