So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
