man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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