Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
