Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
