He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
